Parasocial Relationships
A new kind of relationship is on the rise, and the only thing that is needed to make it work is an internet connection. Known as parasocial relationships, these connections have been around shockingly since 1956 (at least, that is when the term was coined by Yale professor Donald Horton, according to wwu.edu) and primarily affect those who grew up with the digital age. Within these relationships, one may develop a connection with or feel they know a celebrity/internet personality in the same sense as a friend they grew up with. The reasons for partaking in these relationships may vary; in the last year or so, people were desperate for any kind of interaction or connection and would build these fantastical relationships within their mind. Alternatively, some may feel lost or that they need someone to view as a “roadmap” to success, as stated by licensed CCHS counselor Josh Harper.
These kinds of relationships are often discussed in a negatively connotative sense, as they often cause an individual to develop a biased, distorted view of the person they are connected with. Harper elaborates by saying that “a parasocial relationship can cause you to be biased in your view of [the celebrity’s] actions. Many will forgive a friend for an action they would condemn a stranger for doing. People may defend the actions of a person in a parasocial relationship even if it conflicts with their own morals or values.” A perfect example of this is found directly in cancel culture. For example, after the events of the Travis Scott concert at Astroworld on November 5, 2021, if someone absolutely loved and admired Scott, they would likely bend over backwards to defend his actions. An individual with a more neutral perspective may blame the performer and/or several others involved (such as security or the venue’s employees).
Counselor Harper (as well as school counselor Chelsea Neale) claims that these types of one-way connections can be healthy in moderation, as everyone needs someone to look up to or learn from; however, it can just as quickly and easily become the opposite when the relationship crosses the line of obsession. Such deluded infatuation can impair daily functioning and can even lead to a robotic state where an individual may try to meticulously build their life in the mold of their idol.
If you feel that you may be partaking in this form of connection, counselors Neale and Harper state that either a temporary or permanent leave from social media is in order. If you believe that your relationship with someone who does not personally know you is affecting your life in a negative way, speaking with a close friend, family member, or even a counselor would greatly benefit you.
